Birds of a Feather/Script

This page or section is incomplete. In other words, yes we know it's unfinished; we just didn't want to leave it blank in the meantime. You can help complete it. The editor who added this tag elaborates: Cutscene music and probably more direction on some scenes

The following is the script of dialogue used in the Blade Quest Birds of a Feather.

Meeting Noganga

Noganga

Meh meh! You bring Tirkin here?
How dare show face around here!

Finch

??

Noganga

Don't play dummy-dumb with Noganga! You in big trouble!

Zeke

What? Do you think Finch is a Tirkin?

Noganga

...She not?

Finch

No way! A Tirkin? Me? I'm a Blade!

Noganga

If that true then why you not say earlier?
Look too similar to Tirkin so probably everybody confused all the time!

Zeke

You're the one who jumped to conclusions, pal!

Nia

What do you have against Tirkin, anyway?

Noganga

Glad you asked!
It all start when Noganga come back home after negotiating in Gormott.
Titan ship was attacked by Tirkin and Noganga's precious Nopon Trade Guild ID was stolen!
Now to do trading, Noganga must wade through many red tapes and bureaucratic nonsense.
Tirkin take anything that shiny!
And so birdbrain that they immediately forget where they hide things!
It all Tirkin's fault that Noganga cannot trade easily any more!
So you understand why sight of Tirkin lookalike make Noganga angry!

Nia

Are you done venting?

Finch

Hey, Boppi, did you hear?
Fishy Fishy are having a half-price sale on fish paste. Let's go shopping there later!

Poppi α

Bargain is good! Leave it to Poppi to carry all shopping bags!

Nia

Finch! Are you even listening?

Finch

Uhh, what were we talking about again?

Nia

Noganga was just saying how much you look like a Tirkin.

Finch

Oh yeah, I remember now! Well I have no idea what he's talking about.
What part of me is supposed to look like a Tirkin, exactly? I couldn't be more different!

Noganga

No no! No matter which way you slice it, you exactly Tirkin!
And inside head is birdbrain too!

Finch

Nuh-uh! Is not!

Noganga

Hehe. If you better in brains than stupid Tirkin, prove it!

Finch

With pleasure! You know what, I'm gonna go get back your dumb Nopon Trade Guild ID!
If I manage it, that's gotta be proof that I'm smarter than a Tirkin, right?

Nia

Finch... Why do I get the feeling you played right into his hands there?

Finch

I-it's OK! Doesn't matter! It's all good!
So where was this whatever thingummy ID stolen?

Noganga

We were attacked while passing by Leftherian Archipelago.
Tirkin lair definitely around there somewhere!
If you bring back Noganga's ID, it proof you smarter than Tirkin!

Finch

OK! Let's do this, people!

Find the Nopon Trade Guild ID

Mòrag

That Nopon Trade Guild ID should be around here somewhere.

Finch

Hey, look! Look at this! I found a weird-shaped stone.

Rex

Uh, did you forget what we were looking for?

Finch

Uhh... Errr...

Rex

We're looking for Noganga's stolen Nopon Trade Guild ID.

Finch

That certainly sounds familiar...

Tirkin

Intruders! What you doing, craa?!

Mòrag

We've been spotted! Battle stations, everyone!

The Tirkin are talking among themselves.

Rex

...They're not attacking.

Mòrag

What's going on? Is it a trap of some kind?

Tirkin

Kountess! We find kountess, craa!

Tirkin

Kountess return!

Tirkin

Must tell King!

Tirkin

But King already gone to Argentum, craa!

Tirkin

You right!
But kountess returned! Craa! Craa! Craa!

Tirkin

Craa! Craa! Craa!

Finch

What's going on? I'm not a Tirkin!

Tirkin

Don't be silly, kountess! We know you anywhere!

Tirkin

Kountess!

Finch

W-wait just a second! Stop squawking for a minute!

Nia

I have no idea what's going on here.

Rex

Looks like they have Finch confused for somebody else? I think?

Mòrag

Seems to be it. At any rate, we won't find that Nopon Trade Guild ID like this.
I feel bad for the Tirkin, but we're going to have to quieten them down the hard way.

Defeat the Tirkin

Finch

Gah, I can't believe they thought I was a Tirkin. That hurts. It really hurts.

Finch's Power of Recall activates.

Finch

Well, we got rid of all the Tirkin. Let's go home.

Nia

Wait! Didn't we come here to look for the Nopon Trade Guild ID?

Finch

...Huh? Was that what we were doing?

Nia

Oh, give me strength. Let's just find it and go!

Finch

Sure thing!

Give the Nopon Trade Guild ID to Noganga

Finch

Hey, is this your missing Nopon Trade Guild ID?

Noganga

Yes. That Noganga's ID! Cannot believe you really did it.

Finch

So you'll admit that I'm smarter than a Tirkin?

Noganga

Yes, even though look just like one you definitely better than birdbrain!
But how did you get ID back?

Finch

Uh, well...

Finch's Power of Recall activates.

Finch

We...uh...with the thing...and the other thing...

Tora

Finch totally forgot...

Noganga

Completely Tirkin after all! ...No, actually, even more birdbrain than that!
There something wondrous about brain like yours. Cannot believe it exist.

Finch

Oh my word, I'm blushing! What a compliment!

Noganga

It wasn't compliment!

What Was It Again?

While the party is in the Goldmouth Wheelhouse, cargo crates open, revealing the Tirkin King and his followers who rush to attack the Goldmouth Flight Deck.
Back in the wheelhouse, a Nopon guard rushes into the room.

Nopon guard

Ohh, nononononono! Terrible news! Tirkin launch attack on us!

Nia

The Tirkin?!

Zeke

Are they even capable of organizing an attack?!

Nopon guard

We get shipment on deck, giant box. Then all of sudden, Tirkin leap out!
It completely unheard of! Whole of Goldmouth in total uproar!

Finch

Hey! Hey, Nora. What do you think might be for dinner?

Tora

Nora not know. Tora not know either!

Finch

I'm really in something like a Stuffed Meaty Carrot mood.

Tora

Ah, so tasty...

Finch

Yeah! Sometimes I dream about being buried in a pile of Stuffed Meaty Carrots.

Brighid

Please focus, you two. We do not have time for this inanity!

Noganga

This very serious situation!
If Tirkin go wild in Goldmouth, business in deep deep trouble!
This no time to be thinking about that!

Nopon guard

It extremely dangerous to stay here. Must evacuate immediately!

Noganga

Fool of a pon!
Merchant without shop is like fish without water. Noganga not move one inch!
This all happen because you too weak and you not shooshoo Tirkin!
It all your fault!
Think of victims and lost revenue! Noganga expect Drivers to clean up own mess!

Mòrag

It seems we've no choice but to step in.

Noganga

Tirkin surely here to take revenge on you!
Especially birdbrain! Birdbrain need to take responsibility!

Finch

Huh? Do I really?

Finch tries to recall.

Finch

But I don't even remember what I did... I...guess it could've been our fault?

Nia

Whoa whoa whoa. Don't let 'em pin this on us.
Anyway, this is no time for chitchat. We've gotta minimize the casualties!
Come on, let's move, people!

Noganga

That what Noganga like to see!

Rex

Come on, Finch. We need to clear out the Tirkin and save everyone on the ship!

Finch

Jeez, do we have to? I feel like we're just being roped into this...

Defeat the Tirkin King and his men

Zeke

Why are you even here?

Tirkin King

Kountess go bye-bye so we look for her! Craa!
We hear dirty furballs karried kountess to Argentum!
To rescue kountess, we became kargo and kame here!

Zeke

Right, I see. You guys must be really dedicated to this countess person.
We'd be more than happy to help you find her. What's her name and what does she look like?

Tirkin King

Kountess's name, craa?
Guys, do you remember?

Finch

Can't remember, craa!

Finch

What was it again?

Zeke

How can you be looking for someone when you don't remember them?

Finch

Come on, I've gotta be smarter than THEM!

Tirkin King

Craa! You look just like kountess!
You want be kountess and nest with us? Craa!

Finch

Yikes! No thank you!

Tirkin King

Kountess get three meals a day and unlimited naptime, craa!
It sweet deal, yes yes?

Finch

Hmm...

Finch

Why not sounds good!

Zeke

What? Finch, no! Have you lost your mind?
We'll bring back the Tirkin countess and save you from this terrible fate.

Finch

Definitely passing on that, sorry.

Finch

Three meals a day and unlimited naptime? Sounds nice...but, no thanks.

Tirkin King

Really? That krying shame.

Zeke

Don't suppose there are any clues to the countess's whereabouts?
Let's see if the mercs can gather any information for us.

Rex

Before we bring her back we have to figure out where she is, I suppose!

Meet Omulette

Nia

Isn't that Countess Omulette?

Mòrag

Looks like it. She certainly fits the description.
But she doesn't look very kidnapped. She looks like she's enjoying herself.

Nia

Well that's strange. Maybe it's not her after all.

Finch

Let's just go over and see!

Mòrag

Good idea. Let's see what she has to say.

The scene fades to black for a moment. When it fades in again, the party is now talking to Omulette, with two Tirkin by her side.

Mòrag

Are you the Countess Omulette?

Omulette

And you are?

Mòrag

One of your people sent us to rescue you.

Omulette

Rescue? Me?!

Mòrag

But you don't appear to be in danger. What's going on?

Omulette

Craa craa...
Why am here again?

Nia

Huh?

Rex

You...forgot?

Mòrag

You lot. Does anyone remember how Omulette ended up here?

Tirkin

Craa, details escep me!

Tirkin

She always been here, craa?

Nia

You cannot be serious. Everyone forgot?

Finch

Wow, that's a pretty shiny rock.

Tirkin

It piece of Bellflower Krystal! My preciousest treasure, craa!

Finch

Wow, that's so cool!

Nia

FINCH! Are you even listening?

Finch

Oh, uh... Well that solves the mystery of whatever we were doing! Time to go home!

Nia

No no no, what we were doing is trying to bring the countess back to her home, remember?

Finch

What, really?

Omulette

Me go home? Where home is?

Mòrag

Countess Omulette. The King is searching for you, so would you accompany us back to your home?

Omulette

Father lookink for me? OK, craa! I go with you!

Finch

Yay! Follow me, I'll let you back safely to Torigoth.

Mòrag

*sigh* It's Argentum.

Doesn't Ring A Bell

The Tirkin are enjoying a songstress' performance in Rumbletum Canteen while the party stand in front of the Tirkin King, Omulette behind them.

Zeke

Well, that's got them in a proper tizzy!

Tirkin King

They are most delight by songstress song, craa!
We mek Nopon new kountess! That's why Tirkin excites!

Zeke

And you're OK with that...?

Nia

Huh, and we thought you might have wanted your real countess back.

Tirkin King

Y-you find real kountess?! Craaa!
Much thanks, heroes! You save our kountess!

Rex

I dunno if we "saved" her as such. She did look like she'd been enjoying herself.

Zeke

She definitely took a bit of persuading.

Tirkin King

We most grateful.
Kome! We celebrate return of kountess together!

Tora

You mean, we get to eat free tasties?!

Finch

I wonder if they have my favorite, Juicy Samod?

Zeke

What? I don't think that's your favorite, Finch.

Finch

Oh, yeah, silly me, I meant Cream Orange Paratha.

Nia

That's MY favorite, you twit!

Mòrag

...Anyway, I see no reason to decline. Shall we?

The scene fades to black for a moment. When it fades in again, the members of the party are seated at a couple of tables. The Tirkin King is on stage.

Nia

Uhh... Have you guys seen Finch?

Mòrag

Mm? She was right next to you until a moment ago.

Tirkin King

Craaa! The moment you are all waiting! Return of kountess!
Behold! True Tirkin kountess is heres!

Finch arrives on stage.

Rex

What the-?!

Tirkin

Kountess safe!

Tirkin

Happy dance! Happy dance!

Nia

What does she think she's playing at?!

Zeke

Hey! Finch! You're not their countess, remember!

Finch

Heya, folks! I'm Finch! Tee-hee!

Tirkin
(in unison)

Oooooohhh!!!

Omulette

She not your kountess!

Omulette arrived on stage, opposite of Finch.

Omulette

I is only kountess Tirkin is needing!

Tirkin King

Kountess?!
Two kountess?! But which right one kountess?!

Tirkin

Is thats kountess?!

Tirkin

No! Small one kountess!

Tirkin

Double kountess?

Tirkin

Multikountess!!!

Nia

Oh, come on. It's clearly the one on the right!

Tirkin King

SILENCE!!!

The Tirkin King leaps from the stage.

Tirkin King

We have kountess pair!

Tirkin
(in unison)

Oooooohhh!!!

Tirkin

Double sovereign! So happies!

Finch

Happy happy!

Omulette

Noes! I am kountess! Only one kountess!

Tirkin King

Rejoice!
So many kountess! Brink peace to all Tirkin!

Finch

Tirkin really are the best!

Tirkin

Whooooooa!!!

Tora

Tirkin seem super-duper excited...

Mòrag

It would be a tall order trying to rein them in now.

Omulette

Ah, now me remember...
Tirkin all complete birdbrain! It easies for Tirkin to forget kountess even!
That why I did runned away!

Finch

There, there. It'll all be fine. It'll be fine!
What are friends for? I'll clear things up for you AND I'll explain to them what happened.

Omulette

Flinch... Oh, Flinch! Much thank, Flinch!

Finch

It's Finch, not Flinch! But thanks, Omelette.

Omulette

Wrong! My name is Omulette! No to forget!

Finch

*bumbling* Darn, those Tirkin names sure are hard...

Finch tries to recall.

Finch

Never mind. I won't forget it now. Promise you that, Amulet!

Omulette tries to recall as well.

Omulette

Omulette! I telling you, Flench, my name is Omulette!

Finch

F-IN-CH, not Flench! Come on, it's not that hard! Not like Emulotte!

Omulette

Omulette! Why you always get wrong, Fronch!

Tirkin
(in unison)

Oooooohhh!!!

Nia

Look at those stooges. This is getting ridiculous...

Zeke

Can't see this ending any time soon. They don't seem to know how to deliver a proper punchline...

Conclusion

Finch

Waahh I ate way too much. My tummy is gonna explode.
I don't think I'm gonna be able to look at a bowl of fried mice again any time soon.

Poppi α

Finch mean rice. Mice were not consumed.

Rex

Haha, Finch. Never change.
But you did good. Well done!

Finch

Well that's because I'm just an all-round amazing Blade.
You did good too, R...uh, Rex.

Rex

...Is there something about my name that's hard to say, or what?

Nia

Haha, good old Finch! The forgetfulness is growing on me.
It was a job well done, anyway. Kudos!

Finch

Thanks, Nina! You too!

Nia

I, that's not, uh- Whatever, I can't be bothered...

Mòrag

Hm... Finch's memory hasn't improved.
Still, you did well. Bravo.

Finch

Thanks, Morodge!

Mòrag

You're most welcome. I also feel like I should remind you of my name. It's Mòrag.

Zeke

Ah Finch, you lovable birdbrain you.
But you did good today, and that's a fact. Congrats!

Finch

Thanks, Zeke! Congrats to both of us!

Zeke

So I realized this some time ago, but how come you never get my name wrong?
I should probably be flattered, but it almost feels like not being invited to a party...